Meetings

The truth is, I hate meetings. I hate going to meetings, I hate having to be part of meetings. I hate being the one in charge of meetings. This goes along with me not trusting people. I'm a secretive guy; I'd rather work on a project and then let people be surprised by the results. Reactions are not always positive, but I always get some kind of reaction. I'm still learning to work with other people. I don't have a problem working WITH other people. I have a problem with authority. I really don't like people looking over my shoulder. I will always take responsibility if something goes wrong. If someting does go wrong, and I'm taking the blame for it anyway, then it damn well better be my fault. If someone is going to get in trouble, let it be me.
I'm not a martyr, if that is what you are thinking. Martyrs, in general, do not ask for trouble. Me, I do tend to ask for it. I tend to put myself in postions for things to go wrong. And then I solve my way out of it, somehow. I am one of those people who must do things the hard way. I am a control freak. What I'm not is a perfectionist.
I don't believe in perfection. Perfection is the end of growth. The end of growth is death. Things do not have to be perfect. We can take risks and break the mold, even if it is done in subtle ways. It takes only a small seed of risk to grow a tree of major change. I like to think I was picked for this job due to my willingness to take risks not because I was percieved as someone who would not rock the boat. I want to rock the boat and shake up the establishment but I want to do it in my way.
By trying new formats and new ideas we can learn what works. Don't get me wrong; I respect the past. That doesn't mean that I have to follow directly in their footsteps. To start a new path, sometimes you have to keep one foot on the old path and simply begin drifting away from it. I don't have much time for drifting. If I don't get my feet off the old path soon, I won't be able to change anything.
I don't think the people who hired me knew any of this before calling me. I remember saying, "I don't think you know what you are getting with me." I'm proving myself right. I'm not a puppet. I'm not out to placate people. I remeber saying, "Some people need to be made uncomfortable."
I'm planting that seed of risk. We will see how much it grows. God help anyone who attempts to stunt change's growth.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. -- HST