Monday, December 11, 2006

T.J.'s As-Promised Year In Review 2006!

Everybody does this, don't they? Look back at the year they had and wonder where all that time went? Since I am cooler than everyone else (unless I've previously told you that you are cooler than me) my YIR will be much cooler than all those others.
At least, I think so. Amazingly, 2006 was a year of semi-bridled positivity for me. No major tragedies or anything really to look back and say, "Wow, that sucked so much I never want to talk about it again." Anyway, on with the show.
Best Movie: Stranger Than Fiction. The only movie I saw twice in one week this entire year. Honorable mentions go to Slither, Feast, and Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny.

Best Book: Cell by Stephen King. This came out in January and no other book that came out this year impressed me as much. Honorable mentions to Anasazi Boys by Neil Gaiman and A Thousand Good Prayers by Yiyun Li.

Best Music: Halestorm. Halestorm. Halestorm. If the world goes right you will all hear more about them next year when their first full length album comes out. Honorable mentions: Educated Horses by Rob Zombie, Rockstar Supernova (even though they picked the WRONG vocalist), and We Are Pilots by Shiny Toy Guns.

Best TV: Rockstar Supernova. Dilana should have won and Storm is still my favorite. I haven't actually watched TV for real for most of the last third of this year, so maybe I missed out on somethings, but I'm not too worried about it.

Ok, that is the "best of" list. Now for more personal reviewing.

This year, I went on more dates than I have in....um....well....a really long time. Thank you to all the girls that went out with me, even though none of those dates turned into relationships. I'm okay with that, too. The more dates i go on, the more likely I am to find the one of you out there meant to be with me.

2006 was also my most productive writing year EVER! thanks to multiple writing classes and work on two separate newspapers, I have more decent work to show people than ever before. granted, not all of it is great, but there is definitely something to having to produce adequate work multiple times a week that can make any writer better. Now, if only I could finish my damn novel. (It's coming, really. I might start posting chapters here for those of you who have been waiting for a taste.)

The other two big accomplishments of 2006 were getting my Associates degree from CCSN and (finally) getting my driver's license. Now I know that a lot of people have these things before they are 20, 25 at the latest. I just do things differently. You should all know that by now. It is done, that is what counts. I'm well on my way to the Bachelor's degree and driving regularly (when the Hell-Bitch wants to go, that is.)

If this were the Oscars or my novel, I would have a list of people to thank. It isn't but I'm going to thank a few people anyway. Here goes (and in no real order, so don't get pissed if you are toward the bottom of the list. Just think of all the people who didn't make the list):
Mom and Pop, for putting up with me over the summer and helping me along when I've needed help. Dad for calling me even if I don't answer. Karen Laing for calling me from Vegas just to talk. The Gibson family for three great years: I miss you guys! Dr. Campo for deciding I should be in charge of Coyote Press: it was a wild semester and put me on a path that I'm still on now. John, Joel and Leslie, three of the best professors ever who don't seem to mind that I call them by their first names now. Gina (Joel's wife) for building my confidence and sharing her own stories with me. My fellow students in ENG 205 (Las Vegas), 291, 293, and 309 (Moscow) for understanding that sometimes I just have to talk and not getting too pissed off about me never raising my hand. Sasha for knowing I named a character after a Misfit. All my staff at Coyote Press, we rocked! Harley and Pam, two women who will never meet each other but were both honest enough with me so that I didn't get crazy. Pam and Mark for being there and for picking me up at the airport tomorrow. Amy, still my best friend who I don't talk to enough, but that I vow never to lose contact with. Brianna, my rocker, for enjoying some good ol' rock and roll with me, and letting me feel important. Mark and Leslie, for hanging out in Portland with me in March and letting me hang out in Eugene for Thanksgiving, and all that other stuff, too.

There area bunch more people I should thank but it is starting to get mushy and that isn't my style. One last thank you and this year in review (shorter than I thought it would be) is done.

To everyone who has followed this blog and encouraged me to do what I want to do: THANK YOU! With out all of you, I'd probably consider getting a "real job" again. If things work out, I'll never have a "real job" again.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Sunday, December 03, 2006

CLassical Headbanging

If you can watch this video and not love both Clasical music and heavy metal, then you suck. Bad.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw0TikGmVz4


(I tried to post the video but it wouldn't let me. Stew Pidazho.)

While this now under the label "Gods of Rock" Apocalyptica is more like a demi-God.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Like a I need a hole in my head

For some of you who've known me for a while, this would be pre-Vegas, I used to have my right eyebrow pierced. Well today I went and got it done again.

Funny thing i sthat it didn't hurt as much nor did it bleed as much as it did the first time. Of course, i didn't have a super hot woman doing the piercing, so I guess it's a toss up.

I like it. Reminds me of my rebellios and anarchic ideals.

Yes, I know that having a piercing is no longer as rebellios as it once was. When I had my original piercing, I never saw anyone else with a pierced brow. Now, they are everywhere.

I don't care. I'm not trendy. I do what I want. If a lot of other eople just happen to want to do the same thing, good for them.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Snowblind

It keeps snowing. Every morning there is more snow on the ground than when I went to sleep. Sure, I kind of expected it and I'm not really complaining. I'm just wondering when enough is enough?

This morning on my way to class, I almost died three times. Stepped right on ice patches that nearly caused me to tumble downhill. I don't want to die in the cold. (I don't want to die in the heat, either, but I survived that. I guess I can survive this, too.)

All I'm asking for is one day without added accumulation. Please.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Beverage of your choice

So I didn't get that job I wanted but I should have ample opportunity to expound my joyful, sarcastic commentary on life and all I see. Which is the only reason I wanted that particular position anyway. Things have a strange way of working out.

Thansgiving was fun. I drove through a snowstorm on my way home. And when I say "I drove" I mean I was driving, not the passive passenger, hiding from whatever wrecks may or may not happen. I didn't kill anyone and no one screamed. Which is good.

Also, I made my best batch of Cow Slobbers ever! Used Wild Strawberry flavor. Not only did I think they were good, but so did my sister and a few people who'd never had the pleasure of Slobbers before. So I can make Cow Slobbers and Taco Salad. Hell, That's almost an entire meal right there. I can buy soda/milk/water/other beverage of your choice, so I'm doing pretty good.

"Hey, baby, want to come over to my place for some taco salad, cow slobbers and a beverage of your choice?"

Semester is almost over, too, which means the year is almost over. I started this blog in February. Minus the months I was in the middle of nowhere, that's almost a year of intermitten posting. For my constant readers, feel free to comment on what the highlights of this blog's first year have been for you. Coming soon will be my Year In Review. I'm going to make it as positive as I can, too.

Still undecided about what I shall do over the break, though. Don't be surprised if I show up at YOUR house.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The Wait...and wait

I'm a rather patient guy. I can sit and wait for things for a very long time. Like buses and mail and such. What I hate waiting for is news. When someone tells you they will "let you know by tonight" I want to know NOW!
Right now I'm waiting to fins out if I get promoted from Arts&Culture grunt to Opinion Editor. I really want the job. The other person being considered is equally qualified. We would each bring a wealth of experience to the position. We would do things differently, I'm sure, but either way, it is a win-win for the paper.
That is what I should focus on and probably what those deciding are focusing on. "What is best for the paper?"
It is a good question. Would it better to have someone who is an excellent news writer and probably knows more about the local area than I do? Or me, who will never back down when someone needs to be made fun of?
That is what I bring to the table: If someone needs to be kicked in the nuts, I shall do the kicking. Humor is at a premium in many newspapers these days. We all seem to take ourselves too seriously. Not me. The best part is that I'm likely to make fun of myself before I make fun of any one else.
Chicks dig self-deprecating humor. Or so I'm told.

While I wait, I'm watching all the Strong Bad Emails I can. Good times, yo.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Just an update...

Thanksgiving break is coming up as is the end of my first semester here at the University of Idaho. Made some friends, had some good days and some bad days.
Made some headway with my work, although still not finished with the novel. I have been very productive otherwise. Done some pretty good newspaper work, some damn good nonfiction works and some interesting poetry. Next semester, I will get back on track with my fiction work.
You can see I am in a comtemplative mood. Usually this is bad. Usually when I get like this I start thinking of mistakes and how things could be different. Today, I'm thinking of the things I did right.
It is a longer list than I thought it would be.
I'm waiting for New Year's Eve, then I will go back and give you the whole list of things I did right this year.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Transcript Cluster Fuck

So, transferring schools is a pain in the ass, as I was reminded again today. First of all, my finall transcript from Las vegas took forever to get here. Once it arrived, I went right to my academic advising and then registered for next semester. After signin gup for some classes, I got an email about the remainder of my transcript being evaluated and adjustments made.
those adjustments include my not having had to take a class that I am in now and not having to take one of the classes I had added mere minutes before.
The shitty part is that I'm required to have a certain number of upper-division classes here in order to graduate. Almost all of the Lit. classes I took in Vegas at 200 level transferred over at 300 level. Basically, I don't have that many more English classes to take, I just have to take a bunch of shit to meet the credit requirements.
And also foreign language, but that is another issue and one I don't feel like talking about right now.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Coincidental Scarring

I do not believe in coincidences. While I may not always be able to explain why certain things line up like they do, I do believe their is a bigger scheme at work.

Right now, I am about halfway through the new Stephen King book Lisey's Story. I had to check it out at the library but I'm okay with that. A recurring setting is a place called the Shipman Library. On the second day of my possession of this novel, I wrote an article about a 1920s era female filmmaker named Nell Shipman. So, not a huge coincidence but it caught me funny.

Yesterday, walking around town, I was sing the Johnny Cash song "Walk the Line." While singing, a truck pulled up next to me playing that exact song at the exact point I was at in my singing. Getting a bit freaking now, eh?

There's more.

For the British Literature class I am taking, we are reading Shakespeare's King Lear. One recurring theme of Lear is the so-called "duty of love." In the Stephen King book, that precise phrase is used in a similar context. Now, it isn't unusual for an author to reference previous works (King does this through out the current book) but it isn't everyday that I'm reading something one of those major references comes from.

How about this.

One major concern of the Stephen King book is self-mutilation. You know, cutting yourself because you are a bit nuts. I used to do this and have the scars to prove it. I haven't done it in a very long time but I have been thinking about WHY I used to do it. One particular incident left me with a scar about two and a half inches about my left nipple. Heart area, basically. The scar is a name. The name has to do with the novel I am nearing completion of. While this is more of a stretch than the other coincidences, it is still there.

I was going to write this last night. I didn't and now I have another bit to add. I fell asleep last night singing the song "Last Kiss" as originally recorded by J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers and covered a couple years ago by Pearl Jam.
While here in Moscow, I've been listening to the oldies station more than the newer rock stations, so I've been expecting to hear that song any day now.
today I heard it while eating a burrito at Taco Bell. It was the Pearl Jam version because they weren't listening to the oldies station.

Yes, I'm starting to weird myself out. And I'm wondering just what all this is supposed to mean.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Help low-income kids get books!

Get Out The Vote! University of Idaho



By clicking that little link, you will help my school compete to win $1000 worth of books to distribute to low-income kids. if youknow me, you know I don't support charities lightly. But this is about books and kids who need them.

DO THIS!

Halloween

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

The following is an account of my weekend. An abridged version appears in today's Argonaut under the headline "The Longest Halloween Ever"

The Long Halloween by T.J. Tranchell
Argonaut
This weekend was a lot like that Ministry song “Everyday is Halloween.” With the actual holiday being on Tuesday, much of the activity around town happened Friday and Saturday. That is the bad news. The good news is that there are still a few things to do today.
This Halloween began on Oct. 20 by driving the 13.5 miles to see the Haunted Palouse. It is a rare wonder to see a cornfield on Main Street in any town. Those who want to make the drive are in luck because Haunted Palouse will be open Halloween night. With a few nights under their belts, the attractions should be better than opening night. The museum section is fabulous and puts the Old Fire House and Corn Maze sections to shame. I’m hoping they got better, anyway. Otherwise, what good am I at Halloween consulting?
Good enough to help out with a local “home haunt.”
I only planned to pass along a few tips to Eric Conte, a food science major and pirate paraphernalia collector. His enthusiasm for his “Moscow Massacre” was infectious. I signed on a week before the gig.
Between Sunday and Friday, lots of time was spent costume shopping. The most popular costume this year is the Pirate, which means Conte is ahead of the game. Specifically popular is anything related to “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Pirate costumes flew off the racks at Wal-Mart. One poor mother had to convince her son to be Superman when all the good pirate costumes were gone.
Sun Rentals did a brisk business in pirate gear, too. When the previous “Superman” movies were released Superman was one of the best costumes. If it wasn’t for Johnny Depp we would be seeing more red capes around today.
I made a stop at Hot Topic, too, just to see if they were sick of the people who only shop their once a year. It was rather busy so I didn’t hear any complaining.
Thursday night brought me to the Sigma Tau Delta Halloween Poetry reading. We had some good Poe readings highlighted by faculty advisor Walter Hesford’s rendition of “City by the Sea.”
All six people there, including myself, hoped for a bigger turn out. Then again, if more people had shown up, I might not have won the pumpkin full of candy for my own original poems.
Friday marked the first night of the “Moscow Massacre” and the first round of major partying. We couldn’t get a chainsaw so I had to improvise.
Let me tell you about chainsaws. They are crude and lack subtlety. Chainsaws should be the last resort, not the first. And if you see someone carrying a chainsaw and wearing a hockey mask, you have my permission to mock them and tell them to watch a “Friday the 13th” movie to see how often Jason Voorhees wields a chainsaw. Answer: NEVER!
Isn’t it scarier to have someone chasing you while scraping knives together? I thought so and that is what I did. It worked. One woman ended up in the bushes and more ran screaming back inside the house.
If you came to the house and we made you scream, good. If you didn’t scream or weren’t scared at all, it only cost you a dollar so quit complaining.
Maybe we helped teach a few people to watch behind them. The screaming isn’t over until I say it.
“Moscow Massacre” should be back next year, just in case you missed it.
Friday and Saturday were great nights for parties. The Knightmare on Lambda Street on Friday, the Moscow Social Club’s Costume Party Saturday night, and the Garden Lounge’s Twilight Zone where just a few.
The Twilight Zone accentuated another feature of the weekend: the fall back to standard time from daylight savings. An extra hour to drink! Or an extra hour to sleep, if you aren’t the partying type. It is like a tax return. Here is this hour we took from you earlier in the year. You can have it back now. We don’t it.
Until March, that is.
There were trick-or-treaters out Friday and Saturday, too. Many went to the “Tower of Terror” at Theophilus Tower. I wonder how many of them know that the second floor is supposedly haunted. (Argonaut Oct. 13, 2000.)
I don’t have a problem with going to an event. I do have a problem with door-to-door trick-or-treating on days other than Halloween.
As essayist David Sedaris said, “Asking for candy on Halloween is called trick-or-treating; asking for candy on November first is begging.”
I’m also bothered by “trunk-or-treating,” also. Have you seen this? A bunch of people take over a parking lot and decorate their trunks. The trunks are supposedly filled with candy. What kind of fun is this? Getting into costume and walking around for less than a block? Candy should be a reward for a child’s hard work in costuming and trudging their parents around throughout the neighborhood.
Call me a Halloween purist, but if you don’t knock on my door on Oct. 31 don’t expect anything from me.
I did notice a good crowd for the showing of “Poltergeist” Saturday night at the Kenworthy. I love seeing who screams the most during the clown attack. I’m not afraid of clowns, but I know a lot of people who are. Even something that looks like a clown scares them.
I saved my movie money to watch “Saw III.” I suggest going to see it, if you don’t mind blood. A little torture never hurt anyone.
Sunday and Monday might seem like they should be days off (party recovery days for many of us) but even then Halloween still occupied the time of a few brave souls.
Pumpkin carving, which many people still do, is one of the oddest traditions. You know your pumpkin is going to be smashed by someone. Yet we still put forth the effort. Every year I say my pumpkin will be better than last year. It never is.
As such, I stayed out the pumpkin carving contest held on the Commons Plaza Lawn Sunday and Monday.
I painted a pumpkin instead. Less mess and harder to smash. That and I didn’t have to endure the momentary hail storm Sunday afternoon.
With that activity over the weekend, don’t forget when the real holiday is. Trick-or-treating should not be limited by age. If you go out, in costume, you should be rewarded.
Don’t come to my house, though. I will be busy celebrating another aspect of Halloween: my birthday. Partying will be done and joy will be had.
If you need somewhere to go, try Tubaween, 7:00 p.m. at the Recital Hall. Go in costume.
Have a Happy Halloween, Moscow. I know I will. And if you see me waiting for the Great Pumpkin, stop by and say hi.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Weekend stuff

Two nights of chasing people with knives. What a blast. Due to myingenuity, we didn't need a chainsaw. And I'm glad. Chainsaws are too much trouble, cost too much, and are too loud. How much better is it to be able to sneak up on people and start scarping knives together? Had a good time. We pretty much doubled my expectations, getting close toa hundred visitors over two nights versus the sixty I tought might come.
All proceeds go toward partying my ass off Tuesday night.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Sure Signs of Weight Loss

I have this shirt that I love. Okay, I have a lot of shirts that I love. This one in particular is a black button up with different pictures from Frankenstein movies on it. I got it off a clearance rack at Hot Topic almost five years ago.
Over the summer, I discovered that if I poked my belly out just a little more than it poked out on its own, I could pop the buttons. Sure, it's funny, but man, what a shock. I've made fat jokes about myself for years but this was ridiculous.
I wore this shirt yesterday. All day long I waited for the buttons to come undone. They never did. I must have lost some weight.
Hooray for me!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

With apologies....

One curse of starting college late is being surrounded by younger people. NOw there are those people who are obviously older and not part of the same social atmosphere as the average university student. I'm not that old. Yes, I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20, but most people don't know it unless I tell them.

If I come off as a creepy old guy, I'm sorry. I'm not old enough to be a "dirty old man," thank goodness, but I guess it might be a little weird.

So if I walked you home today, and it made you uncomfortable to be around an older guy, I'm sorry. (This isn't my sarcastic sorry, either. This is the real deal.) Maybe I am too old to ask out sophomores. 25 is not the end of one's life. many writer's don't get published until their 30s and many don't reach their peak until their late 40s and 50s. Hell, if you are Walt WHitman, you didn't hit your peak until your 60s!

27, though. Jimi, Janis, Kurt, Tupac, Jim...I'm not going to see you anytime soon. I won't be the candle that gets snuffed out too soon. I plan on fading away and not for a very long time. And if I have someone to share that time with, all the better.

I realize that in my thumbnail profile, it says that I will explain why I am single. Perhaps the time is coming when that explanation is due. It is a long story, with no one knowing the whole thing. Some know more than others and an argument could be made that I don't even know all the reasons why. These are not the things to be brooding about so close to one's birthday.

I'm going to shut up now.

Se7en Days....

Yes, one week until Halloween. With the date being on a Tuesday, most of the good stuff is happening over the weekend. I've supplanted myself into a local "home haunt" which should be a lot of fun. The organizer is an energetic guy with some great ideas. I just stepped in and offered my help and advice. Things should go well. And if anyone who comes through doesn't like it, it is only a dollar so who cares?

In other Halloween/birthday news...The new Stephen King book came out today. I'm broke-ass (as usual) and can't buy it for myself. So if anyone was thinking of a birthday present to get me...That would be it.

The good news is that I should have a few people to hang out with on my birthday so I won't be alone.

Friday, October 20, 2006

The further adventures of T.J. and the Hell-bitch

Just in case you wondered, Hell-bitch is the cute pet name I use for the van. I borrowed it from "Lonesome Dove" in which Hellbitch (see how I slightly changed the spelling?) is the name of a horse only one man can ride and tends to bite and kick anyone else.

I haven't ridden-- excuse me-- driven the van in close to two months. School is a ten minute walk as is most everything else. And I didn't feel like spending the money required to fix it. I bought food instead. Because there were some things I wanted to do this weekend that obligated more than a brief jaunt on foot, I spent the money to finish the minor repairs. After some finnicking (it IS a word if I say it is) I was on the road. After doing what I wanted to do, the van started right back up and I was headed home. Instead of coming right home like a good boy, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items. I could buy more at once because I was driving and wouldn't have to walk home with my purchases.

And that is when the bitch reared its head.

It wouldn't start. I leave for nearly an hour and it cranks right up. I leave it for twenty minutes (in a parking lot less than ten blocks away from home) and it won't do anything. No engines noises that say, "I want to start I just need help." Just a click. I check everything, all the battery connections (root of the original problem anyway) and everything is as snug as I can make it. Stil won't go. Finally I am saved and given a jump and the Hell-bitch growled its growl and the engine fired up.

Fucking bitch. Wonder how long it will be before I drive it anywhere else?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Who is ready for another poem?

This is more befitting the season. Enjoy.

Dead Again Tomorrow

Open your eyes.
Open…your…eyes.
OPEN YOUR EYES.
Now, breathe.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Do it again. Alive.
You are alive.
Can you move your arms?
Good. Find the zipper,
yes, right there next to your head.
A microcosm of light.
Stick your finger through,
Push down.
Don’t want to be stuck
in this bag any longer than you have to.
Soon the doctors—hope they are doctors,
not the backwoods undertakers like last time—
will cut letters into your chest.
They just have to follow the map
of scars plotted out for them.
But not this time.
Woke up still in the bag.
The black plastic cocoon you know
so well. Easy to escape from,
just push down the zipper
and out you go.
Don’t hear any voices,
as much a problem as if you did
hear talking. No voices
might mean you are in the locker,
flat on your back on a sliding tray,
heavy door blocking out any voices.
No, it isn’t cold enough.
Not in the locker.
Still on a gurney,
Shrouded in dark,
waiting for your autopsy.
Time to get out of here.
The zipper stops,
you sit up. The room is vacant
of other living bodies,
population of the dead.
Some burnt,
some bludgeoned.
Some you’d rather not think of.
Still have your pants on
But nothing else.
Have to buy new shoes again.
Pockets empty, too.
No shirt, of course.
The paramedics removed it to see
Where you were bleeding.
Won’t be shopping at any convenience
stores for a few hours.
Shit like this is why you prefer dying alone,
peacefully.
No one around to steal your stuff
or cut you open more.
If they only knew you’d been down this road before.
And every time,
River Styx spits
You back up on the shore.
You are alive now,
sure,
but you’ll be
dead
again
tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Devil's Luck

So, in the last few days (since F13) some people I know have had some terrible luck. Youngets Brother's new tattoo got infected, a player on the baseball team my other brother owns and manages killed aguy with a bat, my sister was in a car accident, and my father, well, I really don't want to get into what happened to him because it makes me hurt, physically.

My luck, on the other hand, has been on the upside. Sure, I'm broke, but on Friday I get to daye a bunch of girls and it will only cost me $3. Finally got in touch with some local haunted house people, too. And today, while eating a Snack Pack pudding, I was handed a coupon for a free medium pizza. No purchase required. How cool is that?

I only get one topping, but if anyone ever catches me complaining about free, you have my permission to kick me.

Monday, October 16, 2006

My Perfect Job

I've decided what my perfect job is: Independent Haunted House Consultant. There's that question, right, about what you would do if you had a million dollars and what ever you answer that's what you should do with your life. If I had a million dollars, I would build the most kick-ass scariest haunted house in the world. I have proof, even, that other people want me to do this job.

After working for a year in the Mortuary, I spent the next two years telling the operators what was good and what wasn't. And they always asked first.

Early this month, a cousin of mine called me for suggestions on a haunted forest attraction he is overseeing this year. I think I gave him twohours worth of advice. What do you think I should charge for something like that?

Today really sealed the deal. For my newspaper, I am writing a review of the only major haunted house in the area. While talking to the event organizer, my own experience came up. I was invited to participate but had to turn her down due to time constraints. Then, I was invited to check out their show for free and then go back through and give comments where I deem valuable. See? Independent Consultant.

I hear those guys make shitloads of money, too. I will do it for much cheaper, but I get to go all the shows for free and I get candy. Sounds fair to me.

15 days until Halloween.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday the 13th and more

How lucky is this? I only had one class today. My poetry class in the morning was fine. I knew I wouldn't have Brit Lit this afternoon because the prof has been hunting all week. Upon checking my email this morning, I discovered that my Non Fiction teacher has decided we needed a day off. Isn't that great? Sure it is. The bummer part is that I have an interview to conduct at 1 pm, otheriwse I would be home now, alternating between sleeping and working on my book.

Speaking of the book, I've been in th emood the last few days to drop everything and fully concentrate on the book. I'm so close to finishing that I just want it done. And as soon as I finish this one, I can start on the next one. I already have a couple ideas I'm toying with. One would be a haunted house book and the other would be...something else entirely. We shall see what we shall see.

Anyway, have a happy Friday the 13th!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Feel like an ass

Ever have one of those moments when you just totally feel like an ass? I had one today.
I'm writing a piece on Fridaythe 13th and superstition in general. The concept is "13 Views on Friday the 13th." Coole, eh? Well I though it would be cool to talk to the football and soccer players that wear #13. First one I talked to was the soccer player, a sophomore who looks like she's 14. Turns out she was injured in a game this past Sunday. And here I come, "So do you think wearing 13 is bad luck?"
Sometimes, I wonder just what the hell I'm doing.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Break Out Issue

So I've been writing for the Argonaut, the UI student paper, since I got here. Today's issue can be considered my real break out issue. I have four different articles in today's paper. Three in my usual arts section and one on the sports page. If everything goes right (which it is looking to do) I will have a regular column in the sports section. Included will be my vast knowledge of sports and general trivia, cultural references, and, with out a doubt, my smart ass attitude.
Have look and let me know what you think.
www.argonaut.uidaho.edu or www.uiargonaut.com
Enjoy!

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Again: Why I am in Idaho

Last night was one of those nights that really made me understand why I chose UI. After going to a staged reading of a new play, I went to a reading by an awarding winning author. Both were great. Th eimportant part is something that wa said during the introduction of thw writer. Went something lik ethis:
"Many people wondered why Ernest Hemingway would choose to spend his final years in Idaho. Many people ask those who come here from other places the same thing. Hemingway knew why."
So, the next time someone asks me "why Idaho?" i will say, "Ask Hemingway. He knew."

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Father Figures

It is interesting that two of the men who have helped shape my life share a birthday today, and third has his birthday next week. Maybe that is meaningful in some astrological sense that I don't know about. As it is, I'm going to tell you a little bit about all three of them.

Stephen King turns 59 today. While horror was always an interest of mine (changed from being scared to scaring), through his books King let me know it was okay to write it out and want to scare people for money. He is the one who said, "It is okay to turn YOUR nightmares into OTHER PEOPLE'S nightmares. And I've been doing it in one way or another ever since. I've never met the man I call Uncle Stevie and I probably never will. I wish there was some way of letting him know how much his books have meant to me without seeming like a stalker creep.

Celebrating his 60th birthday today is my Pop. My stepfather. We didn't get along at first but somewhere along the road things changed. Maybe I grew up some and maybe he realized that no one could change me but me. Whatever it is, he and I get along great now. Without his assistance (he'll say he didn't really do anything but give me a hand up and I say going to war was a pretty big deal) i would not have gone back to school when I did. I wouldn't be writing this now. I tell him thank you, but it never seems like enough. Maybe telling everyone else will help. He doesn't have a computer so he won't be reading this, but it still feels good to tell him thank you in front of a larger audience.

Next week, my Dad has his birthday. He will be 47. He has it rough a lot of the time and loves telling me about it. I'll be honest, there are days when I wish he'd call someone else. ANd then I think about it a bit more and realize he tells me because there isn't anyone else. Not to say he doesn't know any other people, but I am his only son. I'm the one who will pass on the name. Sure, he missed out on my childhood, but that's okay. If he had been there things would be different between us and not neccesarily for the better. As it is, we can to each other like equals. That means a lot to me. He always says that I'm the only person he knows that is smarter than him. I love hearing that. He gets to compliment himself at the same time he compliments me. Any kid will tell you, sometimes it only takes a smile from a parent to feel like the king of the mountain.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

this is an audio post - click to play

Crossing the Black Cat's Path

Superstition says that if a black cat crosses your path, you will have bad luck. I take this to mean that the cat actually has to walk in front of you, literally crossing your path. But what if you come upon a black cat which seems to be headed that bad luck walk but then stops and not just waits until you finish your walk but actually turns around and goes the other way?

Yes, this happened to me this morning. I saw the cat and waited to see if it would indeed cross my path. It did not. It stared at me and turned around and hid behind a bush.
DOe sthis mean I will have good luck today? Or does it mean I will have no luck, good or bad? I don't know but it made for some interesting comtemplation.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

this is an audio post - click to play

Audio Blog!

So I just found this audio blog thing. You can listen to my voice. How cool is that? There should be a little link to click to hear me talk. This should be fun.

Monday, September 18, 2006

A Poem for y'all

Ok, here is a poem I am working on for class. Please, if you read it, let me know what you think.

Cook Off
Every house you visit someone next
door is barbecuing. On the second floor
the water tastes like blood running
down your throat. Midday haze
covers the valley sky. "Can’t stand
all this smoke," he says then proceeds
to light
a cigarette.

Where’s my invitation to the final
cook-off of the world? I can bring
my own sauce. The Earth burns but
I can’t play. "I should have known by
drinking from the fountain filled with
copper fire," he yells. Who ordered
their planet
well done?

But I'll Never Smoke Weed With Willie Again

Is anyone else surprised that Willie Nelson got busted for marijuana possession? If you are, you are an idiot. What does surprise me is the narcotic mushrooms. Ok, that's a lie. I'm not surprised at all.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Cripple Fight

Today, my college football team won its first game of the season to go 1-2 for the year. But is this really a win? The vandals played in-state rival Idaho State, which is one of the few teams considered to be worse than UI. Throw in that the final score 20-17, the idea of "winning" gets slimmer and slimmer.
How good can it feel to beat a tem worse than you? isn't it better, or more gratifying, to defeat a team that should be better? Yeah, it was a close, hard-fought battle, but who cares? It isn't the NFL where the loser gets a higher draft pick.
And yet, I'm reminded of the South Park episode with the cripple fight. Now that was funny.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Untitled Number One

Let us just say that it has been a busy week. Homework, writing, reading; all that good stuff. My poetry is getting interesting. I'm not writing funny poetry like I thought I might do. Rather, I am writing horror poetry. Except for my first poem for the class which was about Las Vegas and purposefully copied the style of a Jack Kerouac poem.
As for essays, I had to do two separate "personal essays" about a "significant moment in your life." I've done these before. One was a rehash of an event I've written about often. I just wrote in a different way. The second, trying to think of another significant moment in my life, was a little different. I decided to write it about discovering Stephen King. If you know me, as most people reading this do, that really was a SIGNIFICANT moment. ANd it turned out to be a pretty good essay.
Not much else going on. I'm broke for the moment. i've been eating cereal all week because last time I had momey, I bought a gallon of milk. The cereal was leftover from the trip. Wednesday, there was supposed to be free pizza from a new place but their electrician didn't show up to wire their oven hence they could make no pizza. Yesterday there was a chili cook-off. i didn't find out until I showed up that it wasn't free. Not even for the newspaper. Bastards. I guess it's ok; I didn't have my chili boots on anyway.

Also on Wednesday, I was able to sit through a rehearsal of a play being done in town. Not only was it just about one of the funniest things I've ever seen, it got that acting bug of mine itching. Perhaps I shall make some time for that while I'm here. Can you believe it has really been over five years since I was last on stage? It is hard but that is what happened when the wrting bug itched harder.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Date Night In Moscow

I'm trudging home, almost to the top of my hill when my pocket vibrates. It is my phone and a number I don't recognize. That isn't a surprise as I was expecting calls back from some sources for stories I was working on. Instead, it was a woman from my poetry class. We had been chatting and I gave her my phone number.
I answered, breathing heavily. (I'm still not back to my fighting weight, but I will be soon.) She asked me if I was ok, and I explained the hill. And then she asked me if I wanted to go to a movie.
Do you know how long it has been since I've been asked out? High school and that was almost ten years ago. I didn't know if her intentions were of the date type or the friendly-let's-go-hang-out type. Either way, it was being asked to go out.
I said yes.
We went to a movie (The old fashioned part of me took over and I paid even though I only had $20. Tickets were five a piece and large drinks were $2.50. We got the dollar bag of popcorn for free. I really liked this theater and will be going there more often.) We laughed at the show (a chick flick based on a chick lit book. It was what she wanted to see, so shut up.)
Even though we both had proclaimed that the shadow of homework lurked over us, neither of us felt like going home. We went to a coffee bar with live music. She had a beer and I had a hot chocolate. (I don't like beer or coffee so there wasn't much to choose from.) The three person group was pretty good, but we sat back in a corner and chatted. I found out she is older than me. That's cool. It means I'm not the oldest person in my poetry class. Besides, she looks at least five years younger than she said she is.
And eventually we left. I walked her back to her car, where we gabbed some more before she finally drove off. I walked home. It was nearly eleven by now. The movie started at seven.
I had a good time. It was a no-pressure situation. I'm sure we will hang out more. I make no predictions on anything else.
Total cost of date (combined spending): $20.55. She paid for the drinks at the cafe.

Yes, I am cheap. But I'm not easy.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

It just may be a Loooooonatic you're looking for!

I've had this Billy Joel song stuck in my head for over a week. It is one that really makes a guy like me think.

Yes, I am still single, depsite numerous attempts. I've not attempting any such thing yet here in Moscow. I'm still getting a feel for the playing field. And, let's face it, I'm way too busy an dway too broke. Maybe I'll luck out and the girl looking for a guy like me will ask me out. Then she can pay. Right?

Friday night I crashed your party, Saturday I said I'm sorry, Sunday came, we did it all again....

There is one thing I won't be doing again, at least not this semester. I had to withdraw from the Chinese class. The transport, while not an issue today, just can't be relied on 100%. I switched it with another writing class. So now, like I always wanted, my entire day is devoted to writing in one way or another. Reading is related to writing, so that counts. I'm keeping the Chinese books and CDs, though. Maybe I can learn a little on my own.
The class I replaced it with is great. It i staught by the same instructor of my creative non-fiction class. According to him, most of the stuff done in the new class is the same stuff I did in the other class. Hooray! I'm not behind. Plus, I already own one of the books and another book for the class is by David Sedaris, a writer i really like, many times over the past year, I had contemplated purchasing the particular book. What would have been funny is if I had bought it but left it in storage.

So that is all for today. I have some reading to do and some writing. Catch you on the flipside.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Oh, Wendy, why hast thou forsaken me?

About three hours ago, I ate my first fastfood hamburger in over three months. I had managed to avoid the burger joints but I gave in. And now, I am paying for it.
Imagine if you had quit smoking. You were completely over the physical symptoms but every once in awhile, that little monkey in your head starts scratching, telling you you want a cigarette. And let's say you give in. You buy a pack (or even better just bum one from a friend) and light up. And suck in. And get sick.
This is roughly equivalent to my fastfood experience today. I didn't get sick right away. In fact, it tasted great. Soon after, however, my stomach began clenching and I had to run for the restroom. I don't have the best digestive system in the world (due in part to the fastfood I am now condemning) but this was a new record and a new low. I won't go into exact details. Suffice it to say that it was not pleasant.
What does all this mean for me? Well, it means I will be eating more salad and more single slices of pizza from campus dining.
Just imagine if my craving had forced me into a McDonald's instead of a Wendy's. The horror...The horror...

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Burning Man Blues

I was there a few years ago. Seems so much longer ago than it really was. I want to go back. I think I would have more fun than I did that first time. I didn't know what was going on and, honestly, was a little afraid to join in. Many of those fears (like talking to strange people I don't know) have been overcome in the days since then. I'm a better writer than I was then, too. I'm more complete-- although not entirley complete-- as an artist and participant in life.
Burning Man is going on right now. In fact, The Man should be close to frying. I know a couple people out there. I know they are having fun. They, too, are wiser and more experienced than they were the year I was there with them. I wonder if they still have just as much fun? I'll have to ask.
In a strange coincidence, I was in a bookstore today and one of the random books that caught my eye was about Burning Man. I would have bought if I'd had any money. Maybe later. I don't think anyone else is swooping down to purchase it.
I'd rather be there than sit and read about it. That is a big step for me.

Then again, maybe I wouldn't. Even now, in a town with a healthy art scene, I'm sitting home on a Saturday night. I did go to a gallery today, after the bookstore. It is only 9:15. Maybe I should go out anyway.
I'd have to put on pants, though. If I were at Burning Man, no such requirement would exist.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

What a rush!!!!

Busy guy. Between th ewritingjobs, the writing classes, and trying to earn Chinese, i am doing a good job of filling up my time. Then there is the hanging out at open mic nights, the gettingto know people, and the sleep. Yes, I still find time to sleep. And i'm doing this all with a still broken car.
I can fix it. I know what to do. The auto parts guy didn't quite understand what I needed even though I showed him exactly what I needed. The wire is just fine and the car would be running. It's just that, after listening to the parts guy and doing how he told me, the wire is too short.
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
On the other hand, it only takes me less than 20 minutes to walk to campus from my house. Other good news is that there is a free (yes, free) bus that goes between UI and WSU. I can take that bus Tuesdays and Thursdays when that is the only class I have. Mondays, I only hav eclass at UI. WHich leaves Wednesdays and Fridays as the only days I need to drive. And that will save me gas. I like saving. (I like gas, the naughty voice in my head says.)
ANyway, Brit Lit is coming up soon. We are reading Beowulf, which I've read before. But the instructor speaks Old English and reads the epic in the language. It is very cool. I wish there was an old English class here. I'd rather take that than chinese.

TEEJ OUT!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Boston Red Sox

Warning: Explicit language ahead.


If the Boston Red Sox can't beat the fucking Seattle MAriners this year, then the team doesn't deserve to be in the playoffs. How can a team expect to win the big games if they can't beat a team that lost 11 in a row and 20 in a row to its own division?

Yes, I am pissed off. If Boston is going to keep playing like this then the fucking Evil Empire (aka the New York Yankees) have every right to win the American League East this year. And as long as somebody beats them in the playoffs then I'll be ok.

Right now, a Detroit Tigers-New York Mets World Series is shaping up. While I do not despise the Mets as much as I do the Yankees, I'd rather not have them in the Series. Give me the Dodgers or the Reds. Yeah, Cincinnati and Detroit, a real old school World Series.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Hills and Stairs

By the end of this semester I will have lost a significant amount of weight. Have I started a workout plan with time and the gym and cardiovascular aerobic excersise? Stationary bikes, treadmills and powerbars?
Hell no!!!! What kind of person do you think I am? The gym is not a place I want to see or be seen. So how will I lose all this weight, you ask? Three words: hills and stairs.
The closest parking lot to the building my class at WSU is held is at the bottom of a very steep, rather long hill. Today was teh first time I parked there. On the parking map, they only show you roads and lots and buildings. They do not indicate whether the road is a hill or not. So I gasped and trundled up this hill then up another hill (not so steep and not as far) to the building. The classroom, naturally, is on the tird floor.
That is not my only hills and stairs area. This whole place is hills and stairs. I only have one ground floor classroom. I could take the elevator (and I'm sure I sometimes will) but I'm not as lazy as I look. Even with the brief respite from stairs, I still have to face the hills.
If I knew it wouldn't ruin the beauty of this area they call the "Palouse" (that is an "oo" sound, not an "ow") I would petition for outdoor escalators.

"I'm against picketing but I don't know how to show it." Mitch Hedberg

The Writing-est Fool Around!

This is a quicky post to say how my first classes went and some other news.

Classes are great. I have poetry again in 20 minutes. today is one of the busy days when I have to go from UI to WSU and back in the same day. Should be fine. i got lost at WSu yesterday so I won't get lost today.

In other news...I have TWO writing jobs. One is with mmarketing Director of the Theatre and Film Department writng the department newsletter. Cool, eh? Second is writing reviews (except not of school plays, now) of books, movies, music, and such. Cool, cool, cool. Right now, I am a pretty happy camper.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Tomorrow....

Ok, so tomorrow is the real beginning of this show. The first day of class. I'm all moved in and all set to go tomorrow. First class of the day is poetry. I don't really like poetry as I think I've mentioned previously. I'll survive. After that is British Literature, with a focus on reading Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe. After that is Non-fiction writing, with the book This Boy's Life by Tobias Wolff as a supplement. Both are great books and I look forward to getting into some deep conversation over them. After single semesters each of Spanish and Japanese, this time I am taking on the challenge of Chinese. Am I asking for it or what?

Tonight I have a meeting with the newspaper staff to see what I can write for them. It will be different working for a paper instead of being in charge but I think I'll do fine. Also, I have a work-study assignment as an office assistant in the Theater and Film Department. Only a few hours a week so it won't be too bad. I will let y'all know tomorrow how tomorrow goes.

(Pick up The Muppet Show: Season and find the song about going to Morrow tonight. It's a hoot.)

Friday, August 18, 2006

Cars (part two)

After some smoke and nearly electrocuting myself, the car started going again. What a pain! For a while I was sure I had only made the problem worse. GRRR! Taken care of for now. WHo knows when the next day of trouble will be. The good news is that it isn't sucking down gas like I thought it would.

In other news, my lease is signed. I have a place to live. Of course, I can't move in until tomorrow when the flooring is finished. It is that cool "hardwood" laminate flooring (just like is now in the house I used to live at). They couldn't start putting down the floor until the paint dried. Yes, until the paint dried. New floor, new paint. And I'm still balking at the price: $335 a month! hard to top that. The closest was a studio for $385 with only water/sewer/gas paid. This place, that price is a flat rate AND includes electricity and internet. Phone service will be voted on by the housemembers once all rooms are filled. Most people have cell phones. Which means I might have to go get a cell phone. (Anyone want to lend me a few bucks to get one? Especially anyone who wants to talk to me on the phone.)

So, I move in tomorrow. I have all my books; I know where all my classes are. All I need now is a night of sleep somewhere other than the back of my van and a shower. i'm starting to smell.

Cars suck

Ok, one of the other reasons I avoided driving for so long was the responsibility of owning a car. The car I drove to Idaho did get me here but there was a catch.
Sunday, after gassing up in Boise, the beast would not start. I tried all the tricks until finally the battery just gave out. Problem solved the next morning: bought a new battery and things continued on their merry way.
Until today.
I woke up, got the car started and headed to a gas station to wash off a bunch of bird crap from my windshield. Made it to the station without a hitch. And then that power problem recurred. I turn the key, the gas gauge goes up and that is all. NO whirring of the engine, no clicking. Nothing. And so there it sits, at a gas station mere blocks away from where it spent the night.
Can you say frustration? I knew you could.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

A room in a house!

Today I found a place to live. I will actually be living in a house. A real house. Of course, it is split into a duplex (upstairs/downstairs) but the whole house is under the auspices of one person. I have a large corner downstairs room. There is a path to a separate downstairs entrance, which means I never have to go upstairs for anything. I mean anything. Downstairs has its own kitchen, living room, bathroom and washer and dryer. All the utilities (including phone and internet) are included in the rent. Now, how much do you think one would pay for this? Keep guessing because it gets better.
The house is hard to find. It sits on a hill that overlooks the valley in which Moscow sits from the back patio and from the front is an incredible view of another valley. Across the street, on the top of this hill, is a small park. All this located less than a two-minute drive away from campus. How much did you say you would pay?
How does $335 a month sound? Not too shabby, eh? And the best part is that they were looking for quiet, non-partying people. Well, hello? That is me. I have writing to do, after all. And studying and sleeping and all that fun stuff.
For those of you who need it, I will be shortly letting you know the address and phone number. For those of you who do not need it, post any and all comments here.

Stay groovy.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Moscow!!!

Here is a short snippet of my journey to Moscow:

Yes, I have a driver's license now, acquired on AUgust 10th. Today is August 15th. In that five days I have driven over 800 miles. Am I crazy? you know, I just might be. The freeway is a scary place full of maniacs. There is nothing one can do but go with the flow, keep a watch on multiple angles and pray for the best. I made it. Contrary to what many others might think, 75 miles per hour IS TOO FAST!!! Especially when 90% of the drivers exceed that limit.

As for the vehicle, well, it got tired at a gas station in Boise and didn't want to go anymore. After a rest, the remainder of the journey went smoothly. I arrived in Moscow around 2:30 PM and, after getting lost, found the campus and the right building to get my student ID/debit card. Then I went and bought my books. I lucked out and only needed relatively cheap books. Not getting that employee discount after so long really bites. Such is life.

After spending the nigth parked in a grocery store parking lot (WinCo, for those in the know) I continued taking care of business. I had planned to park at the Wal-Mart, but I seem to have found the last Wal-Mart in the world that closes at 10 PM. Anyway, I went to sleep and woke up early. I drove myself over to the Parking Office and bought a Parking Permit. I used the same card I used to get my books, so I didn't use any out of pocket funds. It cost $125, which sucks, but the good news is that it is good for an entire year (as opposed to just the semester) and also allows me to park in various lots at Washington State University, where I have one co-op class. I was worried about having to pay an additional fee to park there, but I don't have to. Hooray!

Ok, tomorrow will be a day when I just sortof wander around campus and not do much else. thursday I find out what my work study job will be. Once I know that, I can get a better idea of how much time I'll have to take over the newspaper here. :)

I'm going to go take a nap now.

Catch you on the flipside.

Friday, August 11, 2006

I'm BAAACKKK!!!!!

Ok, so my internet access this summer has sucked the big one. It still isn't the best. Next week, however, it will be better. I will be back in school, in Idaho, with real internet access again!

A lot has happened since my last post. Once I make it to Moscow, I will fill everyone in on the summer. (Some of you who know me are wondering exactly how I am going to get there. That is all part of the adventure.)

So, for now, hello, goodbye, see you later. If I don't post by the 17th, that means I did not make it to Moscow.

CHeers.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Leaving Las Vegas

Well, that is it. I've done all that I was here to do. Today, I spent one last day working for the bookstore. I went to the library and turned in the last set of books I checked out. Now, all that is left is to pack. I have a few get-togethers to participate in but that is all. Nothing else to do.

It will still be a week until I actually leave Las Vegas but in my heart and head I'm gone already. Have been for a while. Yes, I'll miss a few tings but it is time to move on. Here I go...

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I R Gradu8

The good news is that the speakers kept it short and simple. The bad news is that I had to stand and wait for about two hours before the procession. I ended up in the second row, so my bit went quick. The other good news is that not everyone who graduated showed up for the walk. Otherwise we would have been there forever. My CCSN graduating class was 1805. In two weeks, my little brother will graduate high school with a class of...10 (it might be twelve, I can't remember).

But it is done, that is what matters. All done. I didn't take the actual ceremony as serious as some people because that isn't my style. I put my cap on over a baseball hat and I didn't zip up my gown. Some of my fellow grads kept asking me if I was going out like that and I said yes. For some reason they thought there would be someone enforcing a dress code who would stop me. Didn't happen. Dress codes suck anyway.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Walking the Line

Well, Monday is the day. I'll be taking my first ever graduation walk. For those of you who may not know, I dropped out of high school. I've never done the grad thing before.
When I stopped to think about it, this is the first long-term project I will have successfully completed. Ok, I wrote a novel (that sucks, it was practice) and an ok book of essays (finished but unsuccewsful because I haven't managed to publish it yet). There have been a few other projects that I've done but none of them required sustained efforts longer than a few months. Even the newspaper, from the day I signed the contract until the day that contract runs out spanned less than five months.
The newspaper gig is only the second time I've had a job that I didn't quit. The first was a magazine gig that ended when the operation wentout of business. Every other job I've had I've quit. The last good job I had, the bookstore thing, I left to do the paper.
The positive side is that I've never been fired. I'm just a quitter (I even managed to quit smoking). Call me a quitter or someone who just gives up and you are probably right. I've rationalized it by telling myself I didn't need to be doing what ever it was I was doing any longer.

But not this. I stuck it out. Yes, I made some changes to the original goals but I crossed off every goal on my list. It must be time to make a new list. We'll see how long it takes to finish it.
I just have to keep plugging away.

Catch you on the flipside.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Third and Final

I knew it would happen someday, I just didn't think it would be this soon. My third and final issue of the newspaper is now available on the web and should be arrivng in print any minute now.

Wow. To paraphrase, what a short strange trip it has been. I got to do a lot of cool stuff (most of it for free) and meet a lot of cool people. Right now, I'm torn between being glad it is done and wishing it would never end.

The good news is that now I will have the time to finish a novel (should be done before I head up to Idaho.)

The TEEJ news will continue to be posted here. It isn't like I'm going away. Don't cry. It isn't that bad. There will be other papers, other magazines, other books. It might take some time before I get to be in charge again but I'll be ready when it happens.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

No, I don't want any candy.

Do I have a lot to talk about? You bet I do.

A week ago tonight I saw this movie called Hard CAndy. Look it up because I'm not going to tel you what it is about. No, wait. I have to tell you because it relates to the next thing.
Hard Candy is about a 14-year-old girl who gets picked up by a 30-year-old guy through an internet chatroom. They go back to his house but before he can get pervy, the girl drugs him and proceeds to torture him, both physically and psychologically. It was a very well-made film but a little too creepy. I'm still feeling weird about it. Because it is well-made, from the acting, direction, editing, and otherwise, I want to tell people to go see it. Due to the subject matter, finding the right people to tell is more difficult.

Strangely, this does relate to something that just happened to me.
I'm in this writing class (read past posts for more on that). There is this girl in class who indicated that she enjoyed reading very violent and twisted stories. Guess what? I love to write violent and twisted stories. She mentioned enjoying the work I'd shared in class and I was very interested in reading some her writing.
Here's the deal. She is a very good looking girl. But I'm shallow. I had to read her story before deciding whether or not to ask her out. Her story (a serial killer bit that, with some work and practice could turn out very good) was very twisted and I loved it. So, yes, I asked her out. Not on a "real date" because I'm not comfortable with that yet. I asked her if she'd like to have a root beer float with me at the A&W a block away from the school. Not only does that maintain my comfort level, it is also cheaper than a real meal (still broke) it is in public, and it is still close enough to campus (and in broad daylight) that if things don't go well, either one of us can walk away.
How does this connect with the movie? If you think about it I think you'll know. I thought she was 19. Turns out she is only 16. She graduated early and I think is planning on being anurse or something like that. That is the dangerous part. More than looks, I'm attracted to smarts. Her liking my stories is a major bonus too.
Looks like I'll just make a new friend. And that is ok, too. It is better than nothing. Given my track record with trying to date, I should have expected something to get in the way.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Oh, The Places I'll Go...

Finally, it is graduation time. One more class to go to and I am outta here. I turned in my final issue of the paper to the printer Friday night. I have only a few more office things to do and then I am gone. Sure has been fun. It hasn't always been fun but een those moments have contributed to the overall experience of the thing. I'm glad I decided to take this gig.

And now, I shall go do other things. I have a new book I began two weeks ago that I want to finish. I have to get myself ready for the new adventure that will be University of Idaho. I have to pack up all my stuff before I hit the road.

But I don't have to do most of the things I've been doing the last few months. Sounds good.

Who wants to buy me dinner?

Friday, April 21, 2006

Since I've Been Gone

You may have noticed that I've not posted for a while. PArt of that is because I'm enjoying a respite from contact. The home internet connection is temporarily unavailable and my cell phone has been turned off (if anyone wants to spot me the cash to get it turned back on, that would be great). The funny thing is, I don't miss the phone. Sure, there are some people that probably have been trying to call me and can't get through and I feel bad about that. But everyone knows they can find me here. leave comment. If you need to talk to me that bad, I'll call you.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Family...

Right now, the house I live near is empty, ready for a two-week remodeling project. It has been empty for a couple days and already I feel how lonely a desolate home can be. I miss everyone that should be in the house. I don't so much miss the animals that go along with the people, but no situation is perfect.
I miss the kids the most. I'm pretty sure they miss me, too. I miss walking into the house and asking how the day has been. I miss the slence of a child not paying any attention to me just as much as I miss the common answer of "Good." I miss the answer "stuff" which nine times out of ten follows the question "What did you do today." I miss the high fives for no reason and the occasional tug on the leg. The tug is often accompanied by the plea, "Take me with you!"

It hurts, too. I know they will all be back in a couple weeks and things will seem like old times. But it won't be like old times. Once they are all back in the house, I will begin my packing in preparation for my move out of the house and out of this city. Then the real good-byes will happen.

Strange as it may sound, all this causes me to yearn for a family of my own.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Yankee Fans

Ok, I am Boston red Sox fan. I'm also a New England Patriots fan but that is another story. Today I want to talk about Yankee fans.

I love baseball. As such, I have an immense respect for the history of the game. Much of that history involves the New York Yankees. I'm ok with that. What i can't stand are most of the current Yankee fans.

After Boston (finally) won the World Series in 2004, I fequently heard the shouts of "Red Sox Suck!" Jealous bastards. I don't think it was NY losing the American League Championship as HOW they lost it. The Yanks, by all means, should have won that series. Of course, they should have beaten the Florida Marlins the year before and they should have beaten the Arizona Diamondbacks in 2001. They didn't. Losing is something you just have to live with and move on. I'd like to remind Yankee fans of the years between 1981 (lost to the Dodgers in the World Series) and 1996 (won the Series against the Atlanta Braves) in which the total number of World Series appearances add up to...ZERO!!!!! The Yanks haven't always been on top. Losing bad is someting they should have remembered when they should have beaten the Pirates in 1960 on a late inning home run. They've won games that way and they've lost games that way. It is baseball; that is how it happens.

There is one particular fan I'd like to address right now. i don't know her name. I saw last night while on the Las Vegas Strip. i was leaning against a railing, waiting for some people to catch up. She saw me, wearing my 1947 throwback Boston cap, before I saw her. When I made eye contact, she turned her ballcap around so I could see the NY logo and smirked. I shrugged my shoulders and watched her walk away. Not too far down the road, she returned her cap to its previous state, again showing me that dreaded logo.

The worst part is she was an attractive girl who obviously cares about her baseball. I respect that. But could you see me dating a Yankee fan? That is just as likely as the Cubs winning the World Series.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Master Packer Strikes Again!!!!

moving always sucks. I've done it so many times I am nearly an expert. Moving sucks even more when it is other people's stuff. I don't mind it when i want to help (as I did the last two days). What really sucks is when there are plenty of people to help and some of them just stand there. I hate people in the way. When it comes to moving (actually, when it comes to anything) I'm a don't stop until it's done kind of person. Granted, I may put off starting a project but once I start, it is going to get done.

I, along with a select few family members, am a master-packer. We can fit boxes and weird shaped things into an intricate puzzle in order to make as few trips as possible. When only one trip is allowed, this is a must. It is a skill born of practice and problem solving. Not everyone can be a master-packer.

In two weeks, all the stuff I helped pack and move will be coming right back. Slightly after that, I get to pack my own stuff. I don't have as much stuff as an entire household. Good think, too. i can move all my stuff myself without anyone getting in my way.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Coyote Online

Ok, so my first issue got bogged down and never made it online. However, my second issue is now available online at http://www.coyotepressonline.com/home/

Enjoy!!!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Rolling on....

Well, my second paper came out today. Two down, one to go. Hopefully, I'm living up to expectations. Even better would be to surpass expectations. I don't know that I've down that. I've had deadline problems. I set a oal before i even started and I've not been able to hit those dates. What I have doen is get out a quality product. I still haven't heard anything bad at all. Kind of scary when i start to think about it. The past papers could not have been so bad as to make anything that is an improvement seem so much better.
Of course, I could be wrong.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Idaho, do you?

A strange thing was happening the last few weeks. I started doubting the attainability of my goals and plans. I started telling myself that I wanted time to finish a stalled book before going to a new school and embarking on new adventures. Mostly, I was afraid of having something right in front of me and not being able to pay for it. I had nearly convinced myself that I actually needed the semester off that I had planned to be this semester. Still, the biggest thing was being afraid of not having the money to make it through more schooling.
When I returned from Portland, a letter from University of Idaho was waiting for me. It was my total and complete financial aid awards. Upon viewing it, I was a bit happier. It looked like it'd be enough to pay for tuition. I would still have to find a way to live and eat. I could do that but that fear still whispered in my ear that I wouldn't be able to do it. It just wouldn't work. Then I had a better look at the cost estimate sheet I've looked at five billion times. The award letter is divided by semesters. The cost estimate is for an entire year.
Guess what that means? I will have enough backing to go to school, buy books, live somewhere and eat. I won't have to find a job that will suck up time that I should be studying. Of course, some of the financial aid will have to be paid back. For now, however, I am unencumbered. I still have to register and get up to Moscow, find a place to live and all that, but at least I know I'll be ok.
I'll finish that book eventually. until then, I'll just keep writing my short stories. Maybe I'll even sell a few of them.

Powell's is Heaven

Ray Bradbury was wrong. Mars isn't Heaven. Heaven, I learned, is a place called Powell's City of Books in Portland. I spent a lot of time there, looking at all the books I wanted and couldn't have. The rare book room is orgasmic. I stood there, oogling like a buffoon over first editions of Hemingway and Faulkner. The one I wanted most, however, was not one of the more expensive first editions. In a case close to the Horror section sat a 1st edition of The Stand by Stephen King. This is a true first edition, not the unabridged version, not a book club edition. I have book editions, where they replicate the original dust jackets. Gues how much this book cost? $150.00. Compare to one of the Hemingways, 150 was nothing.
I bought a Sherlock Holmes action figure.

Portland is a great place. Overcast most of the time, with a light drizzle of rain. I loved it. Not cold and not hot. It is baby bear country. Everything was just right.

I didn't win anything but I had quite a few people remember me from last year's conference in Kansas City. That is worth more than money.

There is a girl from Alabama who won't soon for get me, either. Wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?

Thursday, March 30, 2006

English Conference

I'm awake. It is 5:05 am. I'm about to leave for the airport. What? You thought I get up this early because I like it?

I'm going to an English conference. I went to one of these last year. Had a great time. There are a few things that bug me, though. Remember, I am an English major. This is what I do.

For the next few days I will be surrounded by other English majors. I will listen to crappy poetry and literary analysis that a monkey could have written. I will listen to short fiction that, despite what the review panel thinks, is not as good as mine. No worries. I know my strenghths. I also know that snooty English types in their sweater vests do not like horror fiction.

Last year I sent in a more mainstream short story (Available in Westering Volume 3. I've meant to send a bunch of them out but I haven't had the cash to spare for postage.) and wowed the crowd. It is a pretty good little story but it isn't my personal favorite. This year I sent in what I like as opposed to what I thought they would like. Is this a mistake? Maybe. This isn't like sending a Lord of the Rings fantasy story to Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, though. Screw them if they don't like genre fiction. I'm fine with it. I just feel bad for all the poor souls who won't get to have as good a time now because they won't be able to hav ethe shit scared out of them by me.

Of course, if they realy want to be frightened, they can always go listen to some of the poetry.

I will keep you all updated as the conference goes on. Catch you on the flipside.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Just doing my job...

Some of you may know that I have a healthy disrespect for authority, including law enforcement. part of it being healthy is that I will let them do their job as long as they don't bother me. Today I was bothered.

I live inthe backyard, remember? I walked out from the yard, headed for a walk. I took a sharp turn back to the house to check the mailbox. At that exact time a police cruiser passed by. I didn't think anything of it until I saw the cruiser quickly turn at the next corner. I kept walking until the cruiser pulled in front of me, blocking my path.
The officers exited the vehicle and asked me to take my hands out of my pockets. I complied and answered yes when asked if I lived in the house I just left. When asked if I had any warrants I made the mistake of answering truthfully.
I said, "Not that I know of." The officer said that most people say no and an answer like that usually means yes.
I told them I had a very good reason for answering the way I did.
One day, I was a passenger in a car with expired tags. Headed to work, we were pulled along side a county sheriff at a red light. The cop backed off as the light changed and quickly pulled us over after seeing the expired plate. The cop asked for both our IDs. We complied, the driver profisely apologizing for his minor violation. After spending time in his car, the officer came back with our IDs and handed the driver's back to him. The cop told the driver he was letting him off with a warning. This time.
Then the cop came around to the passenger side where I sat. He opened the door and asked me to step out of the vehicle. Now, I 've had my run ins with JOhn Q. Law but I'd stayed clear for a long time. I knew I hadn't done anything. I was told there was a warrant for me due to an overweight vehicle.
I laughed. I did not (and still don't) have a driver's license let alone a CDL. I told the cop this but he was so happy to get an arret that he didn't seem to hear. I wasn't even old enough at the time to possess a CDL. We went back to his cruiser after the pat down. I told the cop that he was mistaken, that I bet the warrant was for my father who was an equipment transporter for an asphalt company at the time. He called in to dispatch again with my ID only to be given back the info of my father.
See, we have the same first and last name. Different middle name. Our birthdates, apparently, sound so similar that this particular could not tell the difference between 9-30-59 and 10-31-79. The situation was straightened out but I did not get an apology. The cop did not get his big arrest, however.

Back to today. The officers check my ID, discovering that I do live where I said I did and that, in fact, I did not have any outstandinf warrants. Naturally, I chatted away the whole time, answering questions because I had nothing to hide. Suggesting the officers should have raincoats on when they get out of their car. You know, just being a nice guy. They wer enice, telling me that they percieved my actions as suspicious and felt the need to check it out. I thanked them for doing their job and that it was good to know they were watching.
It could have turned out worse. The best part is, karma rewarded me for my troubles. Three blocks down the road I found a five dollar bill.
Karma rules. I still don't like cops but I can put up with them if they can put up with me.

Monday, March 27, 2006

My how time flies...

You'd never believe it but eleven years ago tonight, I sat in a juvenile detention facility, surrounded by adults I didn't know and kids I didn't want to know. Other than being in DT, there wasn't much difference between that night and any other. They fed me Lima beans, which I had no opinin on previously and now despise. It was so cold my ass nearly froze to the lidless commode. Like today, it was a Monday. I was sprung by Thursday.
yes, it was a horrible few days. I don't want to go through it again. I've avoided brushes with the law as much as possible. And still I would not trade that day for almost anything. So many things would be different if that day had not happened as it did. Who knows where I would have gone? Who knows what I would have done?
I wouldn't be here, writing for you now. I would not be in college and so would not be the editor of the college newspaper. I wouldn't have moved when I did, meaning I would not have met some of the best people I've known. (Those in Payson, Reno and Las Vegas especially.) I may never have embraced my love (and, humbly, talent) for writing.
Not every day since then has been a good one. I've had some very bad days (and occasionally, a few bad weeks). There have been some really great days, too. Just becuase some of those great days were immediately followed by the bad days does not make them any less great. (I have to remind myself of this constantly.)
I do have a point. Really.
Shit happens. Sometimes the bad shit turns out to be the best things that could have happened. In won't seem like it at the time. It can take years for karma to come back around. Eleven is a good number, don't you think?

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Another Story

Ok, this was an assignment. We had to write an 800 word story using only dialogue. Here is mine. Guess what it is about?


Glaucoma Prevention Tips

"Don’t do that."
"Do what?"
"What you are doing right now."
"I’m doing lots of things. What don’t you want me to do?"
"God, you are going to make me say it, aren’t you?"
"Does it bother you to say it?"
"No, I’m not a prude. It’s just that you are always doing it and I wish you’d stop."
"Well, maybe if you joined in more often, I wouldn’t have to do it so much."
"You’d do it anyway."
"Yeah, but not as much."
"Could you maybe go into the bathroom then? "
" I like to look at you."
"Take a fucking picture then."
"Can I?"
"No. You know how those things get out."
"Kinda like this one of your sister."
"What? You don’t have a picture of my sister."
"Yes I do. Paul took it at the wedding."
"Why haven’t I seen it?"
"We don’t want it getting out to too many people, do we?"
"I’m her sister, dammit. Show me the picture."
"Ok, but I didn’t take it. Paul did."
"Just show me."
"What do you think of little sis now?"
"Jesus, is that her head or…"
"Definitely not her head."
"All those years of gymnastics and cheerleading and it comes down to this."
"Weren’t you a cheerleader?"
"Yes, but I never did anything like this."
"I heard otherwise."
"From who?"
"No one in particular."
"Bullshit. You better tell me now or I’ll tear up this picture."
"Go ahead. It’s your sister. You were going to tear it up anyway."
"How do you know?"
"Not much of a stretch."
"Tell me who told you and I’ll think about letting you keep it."
"Nah, it’s fine. I don’t need it anymore."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Nothing."
"Liar."
"Have I ever lied to you?"
"You never told me about this picture."
"You never asked."
"What? You expected me to ask, ‘Hey, do you have any naked pictures of my little sister?"
"Technically, she still has her clothes on."
"Technically, I don’t care. You can see everything."
"Only if you turn it just right."
"That’s it. Get out. You are on the couch tonight."
"Ow! Quit kicking."
"I’ll stop kicking once you are away from me."
"C’mon, don’t be like that."
"I’m tearing up this picture right now."
"I don’t mind. You are sexier than her anyway. I married you, remember?"
"Good bye to the picture. I’ll see you in the morning."
"Ok, ok. It was Megan."
"Megan…Megan from college?"
"Yeah, Megan from college. She told me about you and her and the debate team."
"She didn’t?"
"Yes, she did."
"When?"
"When she dropped off your reunion invitation last year."
"Oh my God. She swore she’d never tell anyone."
"Yeah, but do you remember what day that was?"
"No, I don’t…Wait, it wasn’t…?"
"Yes it was. The five in one nighter."
"I can’t believe it. Hearing that old story made you…"
"Made me do this first."
"Stop it!"
"I can’t stop now. It has a mind of its own."
"Why can’t it have a place of its own?"
"It does."
"Nice. It isn’t a garage and that isn’t a Cadillac."
"That isn’t what you said that night."
"I was drunk."
"So were you drunk last night when you called it …"
"Don’t say it. Please don’t say it."
"Henry’s brother. Peter Wadsworth Longfellow."
"That is so ridiculous. How did you get me to say that out loud?"
"Tequila. Lots and lots of tequila."
"I could go for another right now."
"No go. You drank it all."
"I did not!"
"Ok, I had a couple shots, but you drank most of it."
"We just bought that bottle last week!"
"If you want more tequila, I will get you more tequila."
"Are you going to put your pants on first? Maybe wash your hands?"
"Nope. I’ll tell the clerk I lost my pants drunk and I need to be drunk to find them again."
"Get back here. You don’t have to get me drunk to get a little."
"That would be true if I only wanted a little."
"If you’d hold still for a second, you can have all you want."
"Can I have that picture back?"
"No. I’m keeping it."
"What are you going to do with it?"
"Same thing you’ve been doing."
"You aren’t?"
"Yes I am. I’m going to hide it from you for ten years. When you forget about it, then you can have it back."
"Oh. I thought you meant…"
"Meant what? You thought I was going to do this?"
"Don’t stop."
"I won’t."

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Craziness

The blog has been acting up. Hope no one else has been adversely affected.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Well?

So, did anyone read the story? As much as I love writing, if no one is going to read it, I'll go back to just writing in my journal. The only way I know if you are reading anything here is if you comment. Just something as simple as, "Hey I read the post." I'd like a bit more than that, but I can be happy just knowing someone is at least reading.

Friday, March 17, 2006

A bedtime story...

Ok, the formatting doesn't translate well, but you'll get the point. This is called "An Appointment with the Knifeman". Enjoy

My first appointment for the evening is at 7:30. Most clients do not schedule me this early. I tend to cater to the night crowd. I arrive at the home at 7:28. I’ve learned to be precise. Showing up too early can be horrific; showing up late can be deadly.
The trees and sidewalk are clear of leaves. Spots of frost have already begun to form on the lawn. The small home hovers over the front yard, a prison guard watching from his tower. I can see basement lights barely shining through the blacked out bottom windows. The rest of the house is dark. I hope the client has not forgotten about our appointment.
I climb out of my car, then walk up to the steps. I ring the doorbell at exactly 7:30. The faint light, which had illuminated the lawn, goes out. A door inside the house slams. Anyone else might be tempted to ring the bell a second time. I resist; my client knows who is at the door because I ring only once. Just like opportunity.
The front door opens to reveal half the face of tonight’s client. It looks nothing like the drawings on the news. Not all my clients are so lucky.
"Is that you, Mr. Cutter?" the half-face asks.
"None other, Mr. Harmer." Harmer. Sounds fake. But I’m one to talk, aren’t I?
"Please," the door opens farther, "come in, Mr. Cutter. I heard of your impeccable timing but you’ve surprised me. I don’t like surprises. I’ll make an exception this time."
"I hope you’ll make many more. You may be surprised and hopefully amazed at the quality of my product."
"We’ll see about that."
"Yes, yes we will."


I walk back to my car to get my sample case. I never bring it with me to the door the first time. Some of my clients change their minds and do not wish to see me. Sometimes the client isn’t home for whatever reason. So I leave the case in the car. I have a few other reasons but those reasons are mine to keep.
I return to the front door, case in hand. Mr. Harmer has turned on the living room light allowing me to see where I should sit. I walk into the house and take a seat near the coffee table. My seat, of course, is the orange plastic chair. Stolen from some elementary school that Mr. Harmer can never forget. Mr. Harmer sits in the recliner at the other end of the table. I’m used to this sort of dominant/submissive treatment. Every client wants to be in charge. Every client thinks he is doing something new. The first to leave a note; the first to drive a panel van; the first to treat me like a child. I tell Mr. Harmer that he is in for more surprises.
I heave my case onto the table. The table is just wide enough to accommodate the case. I open it, lifting one side and turning it towards Mr. Harmer. His eyes bulge, not an uncommon reaction.
The knives, each in their place, shine in the limited light. Each knife, from the three-inch paring knife to the 14-inch bread knife, is made of 420J stainless steel. Each of the knives offered by Cutterman Inc. are full tang constructed. Ginsu may slice tomatoes, MiracleBlade might cut sheetrock, but Cutterman knives are guaranteed to slice through bone.
I’m very proud of these facts and I let Mr. Harmer know so. He scowls, grunts, and reaches for the cleaver. I gently lift the handle before Mr. Harmer can leave a fingerprint on it. Had I shifted the blade a half-inch to the left, Mr. Harmer would no longer have a thumb. I moved a quarter-inch and nicked his hand. His blood drips onto his table, not my knives. I don’t think anyone would notice another drop of blood on Mr. Harmer’s coffee table.
I know everything that touches the knives in my case. I know everyone who touches my knives.


I twirl the cleaver in my hand, slicing the air. I pull a black handkerchief from a pocket inside the case. I wipe the blade clean. Sparkling, as always.
"As you have just witnessed, Mr. Harmer, Cutterman Knives wipe clean. Even blood comes right off. That should be an especially enticing incentive to a man in your field."
"What do you know about it?" Mr. Harmer said. He springs out of his chair, leaning over the table. His snarl and sneer might scare seventeen-year-old girls but it doesn’t scare me.
"Please, Mr. Harmer. Sit back down. Do you think I would be here without knowing exactly who you are and what your business is?"
Mr. Harmer eases back into his chair. His body relaxes but his eyes remain paranoid. I can tell he would rather be back in his basement. I replace the cleaver in its space and decide to go for the sell now.
"Mr. Harmer, let me show you the crown jewel of the Cutterman collection." I hold out our sixteen-inch-long butcher knife. "As you can see, this knife is a whole four inches wide at the base of the blade. The length gives it that extra inch so many of our customers desire. The full-tang construction and 420J stainless steel make this the most durable knife of its type available anywhere."
Mr. Harmer’s eyes melt into a look of lust, replacing paranoia. "Do you have any frozen steaks, Mr. Harmer?" I ask.
"I think so, let me check the kitchen," Mr. Harmer answers. He stands up, eyes still on the butcher knife. He turns around when he reaches the kitchen doorway. I hear the refrigerator door open and the sounds of Mr. Harmer rummaging through his frozen foods.
"The thicker, the better, Mr. Harmer," I call out.
He comes back into the living room. "I don’t seem to have any up here. Let me check the basement freezer. All my big stuff is down there." I wave my hand in assent. Mr. Harmer grins and that lustful gleam returns to his eyes. "I’ll be just a second."
"I’ll be right here," I say. Mr. Harmer heads for the door that leads down to the basement. I can picture that diffused light shining on the lawn again. The butcher knife resides firmly in my hand. I love the feel of this knife. It is our most popular item and definitely my favorite.
Silently, I descend the steps into the basement, knife in hand. Careful not to trip over the pink and white Hello Kitty backpack, or the ashtray full of tiny sparkling earrings. This demonstration will be better downstairs.
"I can’t seem to find any thick steaks," Mr. Harmer yells. "I’m sorry."
"Don’t be," I whisper into his ear. "This will do perfectly."
"What will do…" Mr. Harmer can not finish his question with the knife buried in his chest.
"Can you feel how that extra length really does the job, Mr. Harmer," I say to him. His hand reaches to his back. He winces when his fingers nudge the tip of the blade. His fingers drip blood as he brings it back into view. "Can you feel it," I ask.
Mr. Harmer nods. His eyes close. No sale this time. Before our appointment is finished, I decide to take my commission out of Mr. Harmer.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Playing the system

Tonight, I will be attending my second concert as a reporter. I will be interviewing a British band called Athlete. They are openng for a band called Switchfoot. Ask me if I previously knew anything about these bands and I'd have to say no. We'll see how it goes.
If it goes anything like the first show I went to, I will have a couple new bands on my favorites list. That would be cool.

Here is what I've learned so far. Artist & Promotions people love it when you want to write about their band. Those first two, the A&R contacted me first. That made me feel special. To be acknowledged as a real publishing entity.

This morning I took a chance and called a record company about a band coming to town next month. Yes, I want to interview this particular band, but I also want to see the performance of the headliner. My interview will be with Lacuna Coil, a heavy metal band from Italy. How cool is that? The headliner is...
ROB ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm half-tempted to contact his label, tell them I'm already set to get intot he show and ask if I can get a few minutes with Mr. Zombie. I love saying that. "Could I pseak with Mr. Zombie for just a moment?"


I may be broke but look at the perks!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

A New Day

Everyday is a new one. Today, I can breath and be pleased that my first newspaper is finally available for the reading public. It isn't perfect but it will do. I had fun days and not-so-fun days. But I have that first one done.

I've already begun work on the next issue. I'm hopingto actually have this one out closer to my self-imposed deadline. We shall see what we shall see. It's never over, is it? No such ting as a real day off. My days off will come at the end of this month when I'm in Portland, Oregon, far away from the newspaper physically. I wonder how far away mentally I will be. If all the layout stuff is done and the paper is at the printer while I'm away, then I will survive. If it isn't done before I leave, I may experience some fitful nights and worrisome days.

Such is the life I've chosen.

NEW BUSINESS:
I'm thinking of posting a few short stories in the blog. I'm wondering what my readers think of that. Please, click that comment button and let me know.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Cold...so cold

No, the temperature is just fine. It is this damn cold. Won't go away. Keeps lingering. Really starting to piss me off. I can't get anymore of the medicine that actually worked because I have no money. I can't just stay in bed because I have shit to do. AARGH!!!!!

That whole money thing is pissing me off, too. Come the first of the month, I'll be fine. From the 21st to the 1st, I may be screwed. My bus pass runs out on the 21st and I spent the money I should have used on a new pass on food and medicine instead. Tough choice, eh? One might say, "But isn't the week of the 20th through 26th your SPring Break? Why do you need to go anywhere?" Good point. However, I don't really get a Spring Break. That week will be spent getting out my next issue of the paper. I might take a couple of those days off to veg, but not many.

We shall see what we shall see.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Finally!

After surviving the learning curve, my first issue of the paper is at the printer right now and will be ready for distribution on Monday. Also, for those of you who are webheads, we are uploading the edition to our web presence at this very moment. check out www.coyotepressonline.com Anything you see without a byline means I wrote (most of the A&E section) There are a couple pieces with my name attached, but anyone who has read any of my work should catch my style. It isn't hard to miss.
Just in case you wonder, I did not write the "Bad Ass Moments" article, but I love the title and attitude behind it.

Check you dudes later!